Since I was little I’ve been passionate about dreaming of an ideal life. As I was growing up, I spent years looking consciously around me in the five countries I have lived in and other 15 I have traveled to. I did informal interviews with the people I admired, I read countless articles and I wrote long pages in my journals on what makes a life worth living. Most of all and what mattered the most was that I did a lot of introspection and inner work for countless days mostly throughout the last 5 years. I wondered which are, truly, the most valuable things in life that are worthy to struggle for and what we really need to know, from the beginning of our life-journey, in order to create a life with purpose and meaning.
I found out that many people’s lives were about reaching a certain career level, others wanted to make their business very successful, some were oriented to get more freelancing projects and a few were happy to live a tranquil life with their family.
When it came to me, I didn’t fully relate to any of these life-purposes in particular. I always wanted it all, but I was not able to be clear and specific.
The last two years I have spent doing 2 full-time jobs in the corporate world, which forced me to accelerate the thinking process. The work didn’t feel right and I needed to know what was going on, so I asked myself lots of questions, some of which were:
How do I measure a successful life?
What is my definition of happiness?
What am I really looking for in my life?
What do I value the most in others?
At the beginning of this year, I found a part of the answers when I least expected. I was at my desk working on a task; I opened OneNote and started writing down my flowing thoughts. Below are the answers I was asking for, for so long and they came to me straight from my heart at the right moment.
These are the affirmations I strive to live by, the ones that I get back to when I feel stuck and remind myself what a happy and successful life looks like for me in this moment of life.
It makes me happy to share it with you, hoping to inspire in any way. I dare you to start or keep working on your own life guide. What do you really value? What matters to you the most? What kind of person do you want to become?
These are my answers:
I want to be a powerful woman, but I want to stay sensitive and warmhearted.
I want to succeed in my projects, but I want to keep my feet on the ground and stay humble.
I want to be admired by women and men, but I want to feel like a normal and simple human.
I want to have enough money that I can buy everything I want and be able to travel wherever I want, but I want to spend it wisely and to remain generous with others.
I want to be influential and powerful, but I want to keep my sensitivity, patience and love towards all people.
I want to build my own tribe that will love and support me unconditionally, but I want to stay open to meet other people too.
I want to create amazing beautiful things, but I want to keep enjoying the small and simple things in life.
I want to create a powerful presence in the public world, but I want to remain loyal to my inner world and develop it with love and honesty.
I want to help and support people who need me, in any form, but I don’t want to make compromises or to give more than I can do.
I want to get to know my limits, but I want to overcome them when I needed.
I want to forgive all the people who will hurt me, but I want to learn to close doors when necessary.
I want to open up to all the people I meet, but I want to give my heart to those who are worthy of it.
I want to constantly write meaningful texts, but I don’t want to force myself, pretend or invent opinions I don’t truly believe in.
I want to be straight and direct, but I don’t want to create harm, be an extremist or make rootless assumptions.
I want to inspire women to become themselves and to find strength in fears, but I don’t want to become a tiring activist.
I want to shine in my personal relationships as much as I do when I express myself through writing, but I want to let others shine too.
I want to become an independent and strong woman, but I want to keep needing people, humanity and emotions.
I want to find my voice that is in harmony with myself, but I don’t want to wait my whole life until I find and explore it.
I want to juggle beautifully with inner, external and online world, but I don’t want to be rigid, full of rules and habits, done by the book.
I want to explore personal interests and discover new ones, but I want to remain humble and simple in the way I express myself and behave.
I want to be deeply loved by a man, but I want to love him back just as much.
I want to keep exploring my inner self, but I want to stay connected and understand others’ selves too.
I want to dream big, but I want to remain aware of the reality I live in.
I want to keep connecting at a soulful level with humans, but I don’t want to neglect my soul.
I want to co-create a complete and complex life, but I am aware that perfectionism is just an ideal that might or might not become true.
I want to gain expertise in a field, but I don’t want to become stiff and arrogant, pretending I know everything about the area.
I want to stay truthful to my values, but I want to be open to new ones that might come along the way.
I want to believe in myself, but I don’t want to forget that there’s a force bigger than me.
I want to contribute to people’s lives, but I don’t want to forget about my own life.
I want to have clarity and direction, but I want to remember that sometimes confusion and uncertainty are necessary.
I want to love unconditionally, but I don’t want to ignore the voice of my mind.
I want to establish daring goals, but I want to remember that things don’t work out every time as I planned them.
I want to believe in other people’s words, but I want to stay truthful to mine.
I want to become a human I am proud of, but I don’t want to lose common-sense, honesty and humility.
I want to stay childlike and joyous, but I want to know when it’s time to behave maturely and seriously.
I want to find the strength inside me to strive further and keep moving on, but I don’t want to forget about the beauty of sensitivity.
I want to have all these things I mentioned above, but I want to stay grateful and happy for what I received and created so far.
Ask the right questions. Look around and inside for the answers. Create your own life guide. Share it out loud and then start working to become the human you want to be around.
You are in search of the Aristotelian golden mean and I really hope you will continue on this path and have more success than me. I too often slipped in one of the extremes and, while conscious about this, it was never easy to go back to a balance. But I’m not a good example :-P.